If you do what you have always been doing, then you will get the result that you have always got

Most of us want to change something in our life; at least some aspects of our life. Earn more money, have a healthier life, have a happier life, have a beautiful relationship (with the family members or someone else), change the way we behave, change the way we look, change our habits, change our emotions… and the list goes on.  However most people find it hard to change or achieve the goals that they desire.
 
People usually want change, but they find themselves get caught up in a stuck state. People usually want to be comfortable, so they create a safety zone (everyone does it in different ways) and will stay there and secretly wish that their circumstances will change and everything will be fine next day, or next month or next year.  However they wouldn’t change the way they approach things, they wouldn’t change how they look at things internally and externally. Sometimes they change the way they approach things within their own comfort zone. 

Another interesting thing I find with most people is that believing that the other people cannot change or won’t change, however they secretly desire their life to change for the better at least in some aspect in their life. So when we have this fixed believe about someone or something, then we are closing down the opportunity for us to look at things differently and see that there are possibilities for changes.  The universal truth is that everything changes.  People also change physiologically as well as psychologically, based on their environment, time and their experiences in their life; whole world is going through changes every second.

We create the safety zone because we don’t want to get hurt, we don’t want to fail, and we don’t want to be disappointed; we create this safety zone and that is how we function in order to protect ourselves.  Therefore, people will find it difficult to make any changes in their life unless they work with their unconscious mind to make a permanent change. 

We often hear that people say “I leant it the hard way”. What does it mean? It means that it is a choice people go through; life experience, a journey and that taught them about life-challenges, failure, and disappointment that was something not so comfortable for them.  These experiences that we go through in our life make us who we are; our personalities, beliefs, ethics, ecology, and everything about who we are based on our life experiences and the environment that we grew up in. The interesting and the important thing is we can change all those in few minutes. All the NLP practitioners will agree with that from their experience how we can change people’s personalities within minutes.

If your experiences make you who you are, you can only look at things from your own experiences and perspectives.  All other experiences that are unknown to you are not your experiences, and it will be unknown to you. How would you know what you don’t know that you don’t know? Therefore when you look at things you can only look at it through your own life experience to evaluate it and you can only analyse it within your own boundary lines. Likewise, if you are looking at someone and comment about that person (behaviours/ experiences), then who are you looking at? That’s right you are looking at yourselves. You are looking at your own world. This is what quantum physics talks about.  When you understand this, you can always choose to be happy if you want to. You can be in any state that you choose to be in. Every people that you look at, everything that you think that is NOT you, in fact, are YOU. Everything is your mirror image.

In most of my seminars, and therapies I talk about "Cause and Effect". This implies blame, that is, someone ‘made’ you do something or ‘made’ you feel something.

For example:

a. “Every time he laughs like that, he makes me upset”
The truth in a deeper level is that “No one can make you anything.”
You choose to be ‘upset’, working from your Internal Representations (IRs) – your own past experiences and perceived expected behaviours.

b. “Because you commented on my facebook like that, you ruined my whole day, and I was very sad.”
Again, this comment cannot make you do anything; your Internal Representations are triggering that reaction.

c. When she talks to me in that tone of voice, it makes me mad”
Again, his tone of voice cannot make you do anything; your Internal Representations are triggering that reaction.

If you are feeling in certain way, look within yourself and ask yourself:

“What is in me triggering me to feel this way?”
“How can I choose to look at it differently and stay happy?”
“Am I playing a victim role or survivor role?”

I’m sure you have witnessed a scene when someone has really reacted to a situation, and you were unmoved by it, wondering why that other person was so worked up and was making all that fuss.

As an NLP master practitioner, when I see a client with depression (for example) we ask them “How do you DO depression?” in another word, the unconscious will understand exactly what I’m talking about, it will understand that “(you or client) I am choosing to depress myself right now.” No one ‘makes me’ to feel depressed... angry, sad, ecstatic or fearful. My feelings and behaviours are created by me.

People usually blame someone else (the government, the church, parents, partner, friend, whom ever) and the blamer feels all self-righteous. What is happening when you blame other people? When you blame anyone or anything for what happened to you in your life, what is happening to you in your life right now and where you are and who you are, you have just become a ‘victim’. When you think about it carefully a blamer gives all his/her powers to someone else. Thinking unless the world changes they cannot change, unless their friend (whom ever) talk to them in a certain way they cannot have a happy day, unless their partner behaves in a certain way they cannot have a happy life... but in reality, we cannot go to every single person and change them, because those people are behaving in a way based on "their past experiences" and "their life learning". However we can change the way we look at things, and feel that we have the inner resources within us to make us feel happy, feel good and excellent (any emotions you want to feel). Doesn’t matter what happens around us, we can choose to be in a state that we want to be in.

Some clients/ people ask me “but I was sexually abused, how can I not blame? I have cancer, how can I be happy? You won’t understand... I am a refugee so I can’t have a better life”. I belief it is nonsensical to wallow on stories from the past of being a victim. The only important thing is, “given my life so far, what can I do differently? How am I going to move forward in my life and what should I be doing differently to change my situation?”

When you go back to the past and say ‘I was sexually abused, or I was badly treated or I had a horrible life’ it won’t change anything because we cannot go to the past and change the event. When you keep on thinking this way it is only a stuck state and not going to be productive at all.  You just have to look at yourself and ask am I a ‘victim’ or a ‘survivor’. 

Taking responsibility for yourselves, your behaviours and emotions are the best things that you can do for yourselves. To be self-responsible is to look at you and say I own up to the present state of my life. This is not to blame you or brand you as a bad person and make you to go on a guilt trip.  This is about realising all the things that happened to you in your life is because of your conscious and unconscious decisions that you made. No one makes me feel any emotions that I feel, I choose to feel the way that I feel. All the things happen to me is based on my choices that I made based on my conscious and unconscious decisions. I want to point out that I am not denying that terrible things happen to people.

I know that some of you might want to challenge me. And ask me  and one of you might even want to say “Okay Haran, it’s all sounds good, but I had a horrible, alcoholic, drug addict abusive husband and I lost my two children to a horrible accident, and now I have cancer and I only have 6 months to live and tell me how am I responsible for that? and how can I be happy?”
My answer will be it is because of your conscious and unconscious decisions that you made in your past. And... I’ll say even thought I don’t know you, I know how our neural network and unconscious mind works. I would ask you “How is that old story working for you now? – Is that serving you in any way?” Well if you are a person wants to be a victim in your whole life and wants to feel sorry for yourself, you can keep telling yourself that old story from the past. I believe you are smarter than that; you want to make that change in your life, that’s why you even read this far. You want to move forward with your life, towards your desired goals, towards that happy and fulfilling life now.

I am not saying this task can be easy, but playing the ‘victim’ card is guaranteed to put you more into the ‘victim’ ditch forever.

Lots of people argue for their limitations and try to justify, and those limitations are yours. Until you let go of your limitations you won’t move forward with your life. You can define yourself as a poor helpless victim, and the more you say and think that, the more you become a poor helpless victim; it won’t serve you at all. If you do not like where you are right now in your life, the only thing that will change the situation for you is you doing something different. If you try something different and fail, then do something different until you get what you want. There’s no point sitting down and feeling sorry for you. There’s no failure, there’s only feed-back. These feed-backs that you get from your life journey are what makes you grow.

Some clients see me and when they go back home, sometimes they tend to go back to their old routine in bit different way(s). I had this client, we worked on creating SMART goals and how to achieve them etc, however when I called her one week after the session just for a follow up, she advised that she has been doing all the things that we discussed in our sessions. She feels really good emotionally, however she has not achieved her goals yet; I asked her, so what have you been doing?  She said I have planned on what I want to do and wrote down my goals and now I have been sitting down and visualising and meditating on my goals to get the universe to provide it for me.  I told her about how important is to take action. Visualising things positively only reduces anxiety and prepare to be more focused, unless you get out of your couch and do something; nothing will happen to you in real life.  Universe will provide what you want only if you are willing to act on it.

I believe that action is the real key to living a success-FULL life. It is about what sorts of action that you take, it can be even small steps towards your goals every day. In other words, if you don’t do it, it won’t happen. Some of my friends argue with me about positive thinking, positive thinking is great, it makes you more focused on your goal and also makes you feel happy; however unless you act on your goals, nothing will happen.

For example:
Imagine that you so desperately want to get a particular type of job. If you just sit down on your couch and use your visualization and positive thinking do you think you going to get the job?  If you want that particular type of job, you have to prepare your resume`, you have to have the qualification and you have to apply, or you have to let someone or some organization know that you have the skills for that job and you are looking for that job.  If you don’t do it, you won’t get that job.

I am a positive thinker, however if you just rely on positive thinking rather than making an effort to put things in action, then nothing will happen.

When is the best time to make any actions and do anything to achieve your goals? It is NOW. Now is the only reality that exists. Past is gone, tomorrow is just a concept (think about it, how many of you know tomorrow, when you go to tomorrow it is no longer tomorrow… tomorrow never comes).  There are lots and lots of people live in their past.  Even thought they know past is already gone. The only reality that we live in is NOW. Therefore what are you doing right NOW to achieve what you want in your life?

If you want to achieve something in your life the way that you want, things such as having a happy life, healthy life, great relationship, prosperity and abundance, attracting the right partner, etc... Then you have to take responsibility for your act. Remember, there’s no failure, only feed-back.

See, I’m not an enlightened one, not a yogi, not a spiritual-guru, not a perfect human being; I still make mistakes and sometimes experience negative emotions; however, nowadays it only last for few minutes for me . It doesn’t ruin my day.  What I wrote here and what I talk to people in the seminars and sessions are based on what I have learnt about human behaviours, unconscious mind, neural networks; and my knowledge and experiences with so many clients. I do practice what I preach.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is releasing a person or a group of people or an event from our emotion; completely, fully and thoroughly and knowing that person, group of people is/are here to grow and s/he is a human being as well. Instead of holding onto those resentments and anger or any negative emotions towards anyone or any events in your life, you just let go; because we all make mistakes in different levels and different variations. I look at it as energy that creates stagnation and blockages in our energy flow that create dis-ease.


I had clients and some people in my personal life tell me that they cannot forgive someone because of what they have done.  Fair enough, it is a choice for you to either let go and forgive that person or hold onto that negative emotion. Some people think when they don’t forgive someone; they are punishing the other person. However if the other person didn’t realise what they have done in the first place they probably will never get the chance to realise what they have done in 1 year or 20 years time, unless they go through the life journey and learn things for themselves.


Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you just forget everything and hold hands and be friend with the person who harmed you.  It means you just let go of those negative emotions towards that person. How’s it serving you or anyone when you don’t forgive?
 
Some people ask me in my sessions and in my seminars, how can you forgive everyone; how can you show the unconditional love towards those people who hurt you intentionally?
I strongly believe that we are all spiritual beings and we are all here to grow and evolve.  We (every soul) are all in different states in our spiritual evolution. When you go to a 5 year old and asks him/her to do a math and give the same math to a 15 year old; 15year old might finish that math without any problem; because 15year olds’ growth level and understanding levels are much more advanced compare to 5year old. When you understand that everybody’s evolving, we are here to grow and we are all in a different levels of our spiritual evolution then we will be able to look at any events in our life much more deeply and understand it with much more clarity.  When you forgive and let go, it liberates your soul. It will allow you to grow much more quickly rather than get stuck in one place or one aspect of your life. Forgiveness is not something that you do for others, we do it for ourselves to get well and move on with our life.


I had a client, who was in his late twenties. He was with a girl for about 7 years and then that girl cheated on him; he was so much in love with her so he wanted her back in his life, but she didn’t want him and after few years he met another girl and he was in love with that girl again and she broke up with him as well because she got back with her ex-boyfriend. He had panic attacks when he broke up with his first girlfriend and since then he gets it very often and after the second girl his panic attack got worse and he had been taken to emergency few times and admitted in hospital.


He had done MRI and all sorts of scan and other things and doctors couldn't find anything wrong, told him he has no problem.  However he became unwell and had constant panic attack. Therefore he thought he must try other modalities to get help, so he came to see me for sessions. When he first came to see me I was asking him about when all these started?, he told me about his first girlfriend and what happened after that, for me it was very clear that he was holding onto those negative emotions towards his ex-girlfriends. He was very angry towards them and he said he doesn’t know if he can forgive them for what they have done to him.


First we did some work together first, he felt better, however had panic attack again after a month; so he came to see me again and we had another session and told him about the power of forgiveness and how he can forgive; it doesn’t necessarily mean that he has to forget and be friends with his ex-girlfriends but he can forgive and just let go so it will allow him to move on with his life. When he holds onto those negative emotions, only he suffers and punishes himself and others (his ex-girl friends) will carry on with their daily life, doing what they want to do with their life.  After speaking to him for about 20 minutes or so about forgiveness, he said he’s willing to forgive and he doesn’t want them to bother him anymore and he’s happy to release them forever.  We did a forgiving session for few minutes and I suggested him to do that every day for few weeks.  He called me next day and told me that he had the best and the deepest sleep in a long time and he feels like he’s a whole new person.  I can confirm this from my follow up with this client that since then he never had any panic attack.

I use different modalities depending on the client. It has to be a holistic approach and something that can help the client to take incharge and move forward with his or her life.


Understanding the essence of forgiveness is one of the most healing and liberating gifts you can give yourself. Master Choa Kok Sui  describes 7 levels of forgiveness. He says a person’s spiritual development is based on how quickly s/he can forgive.  Does it take you to forgive someone a lifetime? Or a few seconds?

Levels of Forgiveness:

Forgiving…
1.      After few lifetimes
2.      Before dying
3.      After 20-30 years
4.      After 2-5 years
5.      After several months
6.      After several days
7.      Within 0-5 minutes


What are the benefits of forgiveness?
Feel happy and liberated, improved health, clarity, lighter and more beautiful relationships with yourself and others, more abundance, freedom, peace, happiness, vitality and an increased connection to the divine.

The gift that I can give my readers is "The new liberated YOU"… the gift that you can give yourself, very simple and easy; yet lots of people don't give this great gift to themselves. If you want to liberate you... go ahead and practice this:
>>Visualise all those people who have hurt you intentionally and unintentionally and forgive them for what they have done to you. 

>>Visualise them in front of you, about one foot tall. 
Tell them "I forgive you… you are going through your life journey and learning process. ( Note: Depending on if you believe in it or not ==>You are a child of God, therefore I forgive you... ) go in peace. 

>>Then ask for their forgiveness and say 
"please forgive me for what I have done to you intentionally and unintentionally, I’m a child of God (if you believe in it), I’m here to grow, evolve and learn and I am still learning. Please forgive me"

 >>After that, visualise yourself front of you and forgive yourself for all the things that you have done to hurt others and yourself knowingly and unknowingly. 

>>Do this every day for few weeks and enjoy the amazing result.

You can leave a feedback here about your experience :)

Manifestation: lose your baggage and get your act together

Many people say “Okay this year is going to be different” or “Last year was bad, and this year I’m going to be focused and achieve my goals”.  After saying this most people tend to go back into their old routine within 10 days. Many people repeat the behaviours and often go through same kind of emotional problems and recreate the same events that lead them to be not successful in the past. And then days become a week and weeks become a month and the whole year passes and then we look at our life and say “this year’s gone too quick and I haven’t done or achieved anything…”. So it’s important that we look towards completing our goals and put those things holding us back behind us.

People can’t just change things by using just their will. If people can do that, there won’t be any emotional illness or addiction that we had to deal with.  Because what you do/ did creates a neurological connection and it becomes our habit, nature and personality. Unless we break those neurological paths, it becomes impossible to change, and those things will hold us back from having the life that we want.

What are the things hold us back? It can be fear, low self esteem, anger, sadness, hurt, guilt or any limiting belief; thinking that I’m not worthy enough, I’m not good enough, I’m not intelligent enough… and the list goes on.  So these are like our baggage that we draaaaaaaag them with us throughout our life.  How many of you know of someone hold anger/ resentment towards someone for so many years? How many of you know about people self sabotaging themselves because someone hurt them/ cheated them in their past so in order to protect him/her, they end up not having any relationship at all or they are scared to get closer to someone emotionally.  These are the things hold us back from achieving what you want in life.

We can always assess where we are in our life. Are we still following the same routine even though we want to change things in our life? If you have travelled on a road to a destination, and if you continue to travel on the same path you will always end up in the same destination. You can’t just walk on that same path just because it is a known area (comfort zone) for you and that you feel comfortable; if you want to go to a different destination then you have to take a different path. If you always do what you always have done then you’ll get the result that you always have got.

So, how do you break these habits and neurological connections and create the life that you want? Well in this Manifestation: lose your baggage and get your act together, we will be focusing on letting go of those things holding us back from moving forward in life and create the life that we want in a more specific way.

We use amazing life changing techniques such as Time Line Therapy® techniques, NLP, quantum energy techniques, visualization techniques and work with your conscious and unconscious/subconscious mind to reprogram the neural network and create your desired goal possible for you achieve. Make them as your second nature.

If you want some help then join Manifestation: lose your baggage and get your act together weekend in Melbourne.

Re-looking at your goals

It is important that you focus on the last step and the action plan to make your goals a reality! It will keep you focused in creating what you want.

Create a SMART goal

If you have attended a training you will now know all about this, if not here is a bit on SMART goals.

• Chose an area of your life you want to write a goal for.

• Your goal should be 2 short sentences. It is now DATE and I am….or I have…

• Write the goal and make sure it is SMART*

• Set the goal

• Put the goal somewhere you can see it each day

• Goal: “An aim or an end in mind.”

• Aim relates to direction

• End relates to outcome 

*

S -    Specific, Simple

M -  Measurable, Meaningful to you

A -   As if now, Achievable, All areas of your life

R -   Realistic, Responsible / Ecological

T -   Timed, Toward What You Want.

Set Goals

Now that you have your goals set, work backwards from 1 year to 9 months, 5 months, 3 months and 1 month. Now look at where you are up to and what action you need to take this week to get the result you want.

Assess Your Action

If you have already set your goals for 2011 then now is the time to revisit the action you have taken or not taken! What can you do each week/day to move forward towards the end result. Break it down into smaller sub-goals or action steps to be taken for that day or week.

Keep At It!

We all know that we will come across obstacles in life and as we say at our trainings “they teach us lessons”. If you do come across an obstacle rather than asking “why me?” it is most effective to ask “What is this teaching me?” and take responsibility for what is happening in your life (not blaming you) and keep moving forward. Remember to say “thank you for the lessons”.

Plan the Next Goal Evaluation

Set a date in your diary for 3 months time to look at your goals and your action plan in order to take note of what you have achieved and what you need to work on for the next three months.

The best way of getting all of this sorted is to join us for the Manifestation: lose your baggage and get your act together weekend with Haran Thanabalasingam.

To find out the next Manifestation: lose your baggage and get your act together workshop to create the life that you want send us an email: haran@aumcare.com

How Mind Works with an Example of My Client.

I thought about writing about a client that I saw few weeks ago. See this example doesn't represent the mind as a whole and how it works, however it gives the reader an idea how we are functioning. I'm sure this reading will be an interesting one if you love reading about human nature and how we all function etc. This is about a session with a client who doesn’t feel any good feelings (should I say he avoid feeling all the good/ positive feelings).

I saw this client about a month ago, he came to see me for his issues for not motivated enough to finish off his studies. He wants to be able to focus on his studies.  I will not mention his name or anything, however I thought it was very interesting for everyone to read and find out how everyone operates or function.

When I was learning Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) I learned about how different people use different representational systems and they function through that (mostly) and also that particular representational system tells us what sort of filter or spectacles the client is using; so they look at the world through that. For example, when a person says “I see what you mean” – The word SEE means that they are ‘visual’ and they have to picture things in their mind to understand things. If a person says “It sounds good to me” - The word SOUND tells us that this person is auditory; which means that they have to hear things to understand.  However it doesn’t mean that they all use the same representational system all the time.  It can be changed day to day and or based on what sort of experience they go through.  However, for some people they predominantly use one representational system. The nervous system (the mind), through which our experience is processed via five senses those are: Visual, Kinesthetic, Auditory, Gustatory and Olfactory.   

Language and other nonverbal communication systems trough which our neural representational systems are coded, ordered and given meaning; includes: Pictures, Sounds, Feelings Tastes, Smells, Words (Self Talk).

Programming: The ability to discover and utilise the programs that we run – our communication to ourselves and others; in our neurological systems to achieve our specific and desired outcomes.

In other words, NLP is how to use the language of the mind to consistently achieve our specific and desired outcomes.

We can find out what sort of representational system a person is using based on the language they use and also by watching their eye patterns; that means when a person is talking to you, you can notice their eyes move around, that is because they are accessing different part of their brain (there are other reasons as well); so when we learn these eye patterns and how they are using it we can find out what sort of representational systems they are using. And also from using this technique we can find out if they are making up a picture or remembering a picture; in another word we can find out if they are lying or if they are being honest (it can be right in most of the cases – and there are other things to consider as well).

Visual person uses pictures in their mind to process things; 
Eg: I SEE what you mean.

Kinesthetic person likes to feel things. 
Eg: I want to get a GRIP of that or I don’t get a FEEL for it

Auditory person likes to hear things in order to understand or process things. 
Eg: I HEAR what you are saying.

I would like to also mention what is Auditory Digital (Ad). It means that person is very analytical, they like to self talk about anything goes around them or any conversation that anyone have with them and over analyse things.

With this particular client that I saw, he was predominantly Auditory Digital (Self Talk) and he wanted to be able to focus on his studies and finish off his studies.  However what I found out with him was he easily get distracted, he doesn’t feel good emotions; For me that seems to be the main issue (from my assessment) so he get carried away with his own self talk (Auditory Digital) and do things that is not in his priority list.  So far, I have seen him for 2 ½  hour and we have lot more to do.  I just like to stop there and talk about “when a client is a client”. I have learned that the client has to take responsibility for their behavior and ask for help. As a coach or therapist we are not there to FORCE them to make any changes for them, they have to be willing and open for sessions and committed.  With this particular client, he makes appointments but kept on canceling and/or postponing; he will plan to come, but then he will call and say he got to look after his daughter and the next day he will say he needs more rest, and the following day he would say I have an appointment with someone etc… so I wanted to see commitment from his side and I didn’t want to force him either.

I told him when you feel ready to make the change in your life come and see me.  He then told me that I’m not being understanding towards his situation, as a coach what I see is that he wants to keep on doing what he had been always doing.  Think about this, "if you do what you have always done, then you will get the result that you always have got…." Right??? So if we want to Change, we have to Change the way we do things and break the habit (neuron pattern in our brain). As a coach, we cannot buy into a client’s excuses for not being able to make any positive Changes… if we buy into their excuses for why they cannot be successful,  then that makes the coach NOT to be able to help or work with the client to create a successful life that they wanted.


Lots of people seems to be stuck in with their particular issue(s) because when you think about it in a scientific or psychological point of view, for every emotions and behaviours there are neuron patterns, and unless you break that neuron patterns it becomes like bumping into a brick wall again and again and not being able to get through to where you want to go. Sometimes it is impossible for the person to behave in a different way or do something else instead of doing what they had been doing. This is where NLP and TimeLine Therapy™ comes and free the client's from releasing from those neuron patterns (Help them to achieve their goals)
Eg: Smoking, Alcohol addiction, Anger, Anxiety, Depression and almost everything in our life... and these are the things very obvious to many people. (We have to look into other areas as well, however there's always a neuron pattern and connection for everything we do. Even our beliefs has strong neuron patterns)

In the first session with him what I found out with him was that he never felt Loved (from others – receiving love) or Love (he gives/ show love), never cannot bring out the emotion of happiness and or imagine being that.  And when I asked him to remember the time when he first fall for his girlfriend (now married with two children) he said he remember meeting her, but he never felt anything.  Even if she tries to make him feel loved or happy he only felt awkward and he totally didn’t feel those feeling. Then I asked him about how he felt when his first child was born, he said he didn’t really feel anything, after a while he said he felt Proud. 

See, psychology says that if a person is feeling any other emotions other than Happiness and Love then there’s a problem.  But this client that I was seeing he never felt Love/ Loved or Deep happiness.  May be he felt happiness, but he was so disassociated from the feeling.  I wanted to give him some task to make him to internally reflect on himself and how he felt and things like that; however I don’t see any commitment from his side.

This is just to give you an idea of how everyone functions. These representational systems don’t make a person a better or superior or anything; but it just tells us how they interpret the world, events and experiences.  And certain representational systems are good for excelling certain things in our life.

Eg: If you want to be really good with spelling, if a person uses Visual representational system for memorizing it is better and if a person uses Kinesthetic or Ad then it may not work well for them particularly with spelling.

And this is why NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programmers) don’t believe in ADD, we believe that they are using inappropriate representational systems only, so when we teach them the right way of using their representational system these ADD kids get better with their education.

From my perspective nothing wrong with this particular client that I saw few weeks ago, however he was avoiding those representational systems that he supposed to be using. Because of that, it was creating him trouble and/or that became his hurdle to reach his goal.

Client came for * Weight Loss * - Turned out to be * Sexually Abused *

Hi, I hope you enjoyed my last post and I promised you in my last post that I'll tell you about what happened to that sexually abused girl.

I saw this client in early 2009 while I was working in Preston, Victoria (Australia).

She came to me for * Weight Loss * at the start. Helen (made up name), came to see me for weight loss and she wanted to see herself thin, fit and stay healthy. She weighted 142kg and she had been over weight for all her life. She told me that she tried almost every diet out there and nothing seems to work for her and also she got gym membership as well, but she hardly goes there, because she says she just gets lazy and can't be bothered after getting back from work, however she tries to go to gym at least twice a week.

She came to me saying that I have to make her stop being lazy and get her to do more exercises and eat healthy.  She believed that she’s fat because she’s lazy and eat food all the time and she can’t stop eating or think about food; told me about her family history and how her mother is fat and her father is also very chubby therefore she also has this belief that she’s over-weight because it “runs in the family”.

First session was about preparing her and getting her ready subconsciously for the shift and change in her life and making her belief that it is possible for her to lose weight and stay healthy with lots of confidence.  I also had to work with her belief, that she thought her weight could be heredity. If she holds onto that belief, then it will become impossible to make any changes because she will have this program that it’s heredity so she cannot make any changes about it and she got to live with it for ever. If I don’t change that belief (program) that she has in her subconscious then there won’t be any use if I put in any new programs, because pretty much that heredity belief will over run any programs that I put in for her.  So it was necessary for me to change her belief with facts.

I told her “if you see identical twins, their genes are very identical at their early age; however according to their thinking, desires, life experiences, environment and other factors that they grow up can change their genes, so you are not stuck with your genes for ever. So identical twins genes when they were 6 year old and when they were 60 year old can be totally different. Therefore think about how you can change things as well if you are willing to change it and if you are serious about changing it”.  So she understood her heredity is not her destiny or the conclusion and therefore she is not stuck with it forever; and she can change it.

After our first session she said she never felt this much relaxed in her life before; when she came back to me for the second session she told me that for the first and second day she was very happy and doing things that she really wanted rather than letting her craving and laziness takes control of her and everything seems very positive and then she was back to her old routine and couldn’t help herself to motivate herself to do anything about her weight.

On our second session I was finding out how she chooses to stay overweight. It was very clear that she crave for ice cream and chocolates and cakes and also that she eats lots of fried food, and carbohydrate.  It was like a conflict, part of her says “no don’t eat” and the other part says “yes eat”. She struggles and then gives into those cravings and after she finishes eating she feels guilty about eating them. But after she was like 15 or something, she just turned num, as in “she avoided having any feeling about how she eats and how she looks” that is the words she used.  However she didn’t avoid having any emotions but she was feeding more to her cravings and strengthening it more and more each and every days.

She told me about how her childhood was and she was a chubby kid at school and everyone used to laugh at her but it didn’t really bothered her until she became a teenager and she wanted to look like all those hot models and actress and since then she tried all diets, but she couldn’t control her eating habit or behaviour. At about 15 she gave up even trying to staying thin; because she felt there’s no point in even trying.

We had few sessions and we couldn’t make much improvement. We have worked with her to stay motivated to do exercises and stay positive and confident etc.  However it was only lasting for few days and then she will get back to her old routine and when she came to me on her sixth session I thought we have done so much work with her, and there’s not much improvement, so I thought it is not just about eating.

All those people who work with subconscious/ unconscious mind knows that its job is to protect and preserve the body. I started asking myself, what was the purpose for Helen to eat too much and staying fat and protecting herself?, so we thought may be there’s something else that Helen might not be aware of consciously and when she went under hypnosis we took her to the root cause of her issue. 

What we found was really horrible and yet amazing as well, because that unleashed her from her habits and problems and she was free after that.  We found out that she was sexually abused when she was about 6 year old and it continued for a about a month and she was scared of that person who was abusing her and also; at that age she didn’t know what to do, she told herself if I was only “BIGGER” I can protect myself from him and he wouldn’t be hurting me this way.

We were able to let go of those emotions and reprogram her subconscious after finding out what happened to her.  When she was out of trance, she told me that she never knew it before that she was sexually abused and she couldn’t remember her childhood before 6 year old.  She thought that was normal not being able to remember. After that session we had one more session to integrate and reprogram and I told her she’s free from all her eating habit and those conflict that she had within herself.

After couple of months she called me and thanked me and said that she has been going to gym regularly and eating healthy and losing weight. In February, 2010 she came to see me and brought one of her friend with weight issue. Helen looked so amazing and she jokingly said to me "I don't have to be BIGGER to protect myself anymore to protect myself from anyone and I'm BIG enough now to protect myself and I'm an adult and guess what now I weights 62kgs".

It may sound surprising how that simple thought created that life for her, however our subconscious doesn't analyse anything it just takes in the information/ program and act accordingly. It is like programing a computer; or if you put 1+ 1 on a calculator it will only give 2 as the answer; likewise whatever the program is in your subconscious it will just control your emotions and behaviours.

If you are inspired and appreciate my work, please leave a comment.

Girl Who Felt Worth-Less...

I had a client that I saw about a month ago. I'll use a made up name to protect her privacy and I'll call her Jane. Jane came to see me for her depression/ anxiety issues. When she first saw me she couldn't look at me and talk and words wouldn't come out properly. She was only working part time in a supermarket and she was struggling to even go to work, because she was scared of people and to talk to them; however she just manages to go to work because she got to feed herself and pay for her bills.


She told me that she can't do well with what ever she does and even though she works hard, she always fails at the end; therefore she's starting to lose hope.  She was even avoiding her friends and every time her friends ask her to go out she was coming up with excuses and telling them that she's either busy or sick.


I think I won’t go into who she went and saw before she came to me, she pretty much tried the usual ways to get help, but nothing really helped her with her issues.


She said this was the last thing that she’s going to do and she lost all hopes if anybody could help her with her issues.


First day we started the session with taking her information and explaining to her what we were about to do after finding out her needs.  She said she has depression, after speaking to her I figured out it was more about self esteem issue. I could see that Jane's depression was connected to her self worth and self esteem. At the start we asked her what was happening in her life and when all these started.  She said she doesn’t know exactly what happened however her belief was that after she broke her leg in an accident when she was 9 year old, she started feeling like the way she’s feeling now.  And she also told me, from then onwards her school-grade dropped down to just barely passing the subjects in each and every terms. 


Even though she consciously knows little information about when all these started and/ or what happened, there’s no chance for her to know what’s in her subconscious mind and what her subconscious beliefs.


We started the session by relaxing her and getting her into deep trance.  What we found was amazing.


When she was under trance we were able to find out the root cause of the issue and deal with that; we found out that when she was a child, at about 9 year old, her grand mother passed away and she couldn’t be able to go and she had to stay with her aunt while her parents went to the funeral in Queensland.  When she was staying with her aunt, her aunt didn’t pay much attention to her and she was always telling her how bad her mother was and she’s going to become just like her mother and nobody’s going to like her and she’s only good for nothing etc and also told her that she’s also dump.  She was in tears when her aunt was telling her all these things.


After her parents returned back from the funeral she gone with her parents and she carried on with her life, however after a week she had an accident while she was playing at school and she broke her leg.  Since then she find herself not being able to do anything in her life, struggling to do almost any tasks.


After few sessions with Jane, we were able to reprogram her subconscious mind and let go of her old baggage and now she’s totally a new person and about a week ago she called and told me that she got a new full time job and also she’s applying to study nursing next year.  Something that she’s very passionate about.


Note: It doesn't mean every kid who experiences same sort of experience go through the same kind of life experiences.  We all are individuals and we take and interpret things differently according to our world and beliefs.  It is better to use encouraging, and positive words especially with kids, because at that young age they don’t have their analytical faculty developed very much so they absorb anything like a sponge and they will take it with them like a baggage without even their own knowledge.  Consciously people won’t know what caused them certain behaviour, some people say it is their personality; but in reality it is NOT. All of our memories, beliefs and moral and ‘who am I’ is programmed into our subconscious mind and when you are in your conscious mind it is almost impossible to find out what is inside our subconscious. One of the easiest ways to reprogram our subconscious mind is hypnosis. I also use NLP and Time Line Therapy to work with the subconscious and these are very powerful tools in working with people.




Next post will be about what happened to that Sexually Abused Girl….

* Time Line Therapy® *

You can see that this particular client goes back into her past life. It doesn't mean that past life exist or doesn't exist. That was not the point here, but on a subconscious level, when that emotion was dealt in that way according to what the subconscious want, it was ready to let go of that emotion.  Past life issue could be just simply a metaphore or some kind of fantasy thing that was created in a deeper level. We don't know. However, what we know is when we do this Time Line Therapy we were able to help the client to let go of their negative emotions and limiting beliefs.  We have been 100% successful with Time Line Therapy.

I have been doing Counselling, Clinical Hypnotherapy, NLP and Emotional Freedom Technique for last two years and I found that Time Line Therapy that I learnt in October 2010 is much more effective in releasing/ get rid of negative emotions such as Anger, Sadness, Fear, Hurt, Guilt, Depression, Anxiety, Phobia and other Limiting Behaviours and Beliefs (I can't earn money, I'm not worthy enough, I'm not good enough) and low self esteem etc.  It has been 100% effective and every client that I saw and/ or other therapist who uses Time Line Therapy saw had 100% success rate so far.

Time Line Therapy™ is a process that assists us:

- To let go of Negative Emotions from the past
- To let go of Limiting Decisions from the past
- Create our future the way we want it.

These are the three major techniques that comprise Time Line Therapy™—they are easy to do and make a significant change in a person's life.

 

The latest development in NLP, Time Line Therapy® techniques are a unique and unmatched method for creating powerful change in business, education, and therapy.


Time Line Therapy® utilizes a person’s own internal “Time Line” to work with their subconscious/ unconscious minds in a variety of ways; including, healing emotional traumas and eradicating unwanted thoughts, limiting beliefs, emotions and behaviors.


Time Line Therapy® is so highly regarded, in fact, that the Council of Psychotherapy in Croatia asked to be trained by “The James” in “Time Line Therapy” so they could help many of the victims of the war suffering from “post traumatic stress disorder”.


The specific collection of techniques called Time Line Therapy® produces long-lasting transformation very quickly and easily. The process is very fast. These powerful Time Line Therapy™ techniques are becoming the method of choice to make fast, effective, long-term changes in behavior.


People find much harder to change consciously. The Time Line Therapy™ techniques allow you to work at the subconscious/ unconscious level and release the effects of past negative experiences and change "inappropriate" programming in minutes rather than days, months or years.


Why Time Line Therapy®?
Time Line Therapy® allow you to gain emotional control over your life. Negative/Inappropriate emotional reactions, such as anger, hurt, depression, anxiety, sadness, fear, are responsible for preventing people from achieving the quality of life they desire.


Get rid of limiting decisions, such as "I'm not good enough," "I can't earn money". Now you can achieve your goals and outcomes using Time Line Therapy. Created by Dr. Tad James, Time Line Therapy™ techniques enable you to eliminate many types of issues in your past, thus allowing you to move forward toward your goals and desires.


An Example of What Time Line Therapy Can Do:

Continue...