How Mind Works with an Example of My Client.

I thought about writing about a client that I saw few weeks ago. See this example doesn't represent the mind as a whole and how it works, however it gives the reader an idea how we are functioning. I'm sure this reading will be an interesting one if you love reading about human nature and how we all function etc. This is about a session with a client who doesn’t feel any good feelings (should I say he avoid feeling all the good/ positive feelings).

I saw this client about a month ago, he came to see me for his issues for not motivated enough to finish off his studies. He wants to be able to focus on his studies.  I will not mention his name or anything, however I thought it was very interesting for everyone to read and find out how everyone operates or function.

When I was learning Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) I learned about how different people use different representational systems and they function through that (mostly) and also that particular representational system tells us what sort of filter or spectacles the client is using; so they look at the world through that. For example, when a person says “I see what you mean” – The word SEE means that they are ‘visual’ and they have to picture things in their mind to understand things. If a person says “It sounds good to me” - The word SOUND tells us that this person is auditory; which means that they have to hear things to understand.  However it doesn’t mean that they all use the same representational system all the time.  It can be changed day to day and or based on what sort of experience they go through.  However, for some people they predominantly use one representational system. The nervous system (the mind), through which our experience is processed via five senses those are: Visual, Kinesthetic, Auditory, Gustatory and Olfactory.   

Language and other nonverbal communication systems trough which our neural representational systems are coded, ordered and given meaning; includes: Pictures, Sounds, Feelings Tastes, Smells, Words (Self Talk).

Programming: The ability to discover and utilise the programs that we run – our communication to ourselves and others; in our neurological systems to achieve our specific and desired outcomes.

In other words, NLP is how to use the language of the mind to consistently achieve our specific and desired outcomes.

We can find out what sort of representational system a person is using based on the language they use and also by watching their eye patterns; that means when a person is talking to you, you can notice their eyes move around, that is because they are accessing different part of their brain (there are other reasons as well); so when we learn these eye patterns and how they are using it we can find out what sort of representational systems they are using. And also from using this technique we can find out if they are making up a picture or remembering a picture; in another word we can find out if they are lying or if they are being honest (it can be right in most of the cases – and there are other things to consider as well).

Visual person uses pictures in their mind to process things; 
Eg: I SEE what you mean.

Kinesthetic person likes to feel things. 
Eg: I want to get a GRIP of that or I don’t get a FEEL for it

Auditory person likes to hear things in order to understand or process things. 
Eg: I HEAR what you are saying.

I would like to also mention what is Auditory Digital (Ad). It means that person is very analytical, they like to self talk about anything goes around them or any conversation that anyone have with them and over analyse things.

With this particular client that I saw, he was predominantly Auditory Digital (Self Talk) and he wanted to be able to focus on his studies and finish off his studies.  However what I found out with him was he easily get distracted, he doesn’t feel good emotions; For me that seems to be the main issue (from my assessment) so he get carried away with his own self talk (Auditory Digital) and do things that is not in his priority list.  So far, I have seen him for 2 ½  hour and we have lot more to do.  I just like to stop there and talk about “when a client is a client”. I have learned that the client has to take responsibility for their behavior and ask for help. As a coach or therapist we are not there to FORCE them to make any changes for them, they have to be willing and open for sessions and committed.  With this particular client, he makes appointments but kept on canceling and/or postponing; he will plan to come, but then he will call and say he got to look after his daughter and the next day he will say he needs more rest, and the following day he would say I have an appointment with someone etc… so I wanted to see commitment from his side and I didn’t want to force him either.

I told him when you feel ready to make the change in your life come and see me.  He then told me that I’m not being understanding towards his situation, as a coach what I see is that he wants to keep on doing what he had been always doing.  Think about this, "if you do what you have always done, then you will get the result that you always have got…." Right??? So if we want to Change, we have to Change the way we do things and break the habit (neuron pattern in our brain). As a coach, we cannot buy into a client’s excuses for not being able to make any positive Changes… if we buy into their excuses for why they cannot be successful,  then that makes the coach NOT to be able to help or work with the client to create a successful life that they wanted.


Lots of people seems to be stuck in with their particular issue(s) because when you think about it in a scientific or psychological point of view, for every emotions and behaviours there are neuron patterns, and unless you break that neuron patterns it becomes like bumping into a brick wall again and again and not being able to get through to where you want to go. Sometimes it is impossible for the person to behave in a different way or do something else instead of doing what they had been doing. This is where NLP and TimeLine Therapy™ comes and free the client's from releasing from those neuron patterns (Help them to achieve their goals)
Eg: Smoking, Alcohol addiction, Anger, Anxiety, Depression and almost everything in our life... and these are the things very obvious to many people. (We have to look into other areas as well, however there's always a neuron pattern and connection for everything we do. Even our beliefs has strong neuron patterns)

In the first session with him what I found out with him was that he never felt Loved (from others – receiving love) or Love (he gives/ show love), never cannot bring out the emotion of happiness and or imagine being that.  And when I asked him to remember the time when he first fall for his girlfriend (now married with two children) he said he remember meeting her, but he never felt anything.  Even if she tries to make him feel loved or happy he only felt awkward and he totally didn’t feel those feeling. Then I asked him about how he felt when his first child was born, he said he didn’t really feel anything, after a while he said he felt Proud. 

See, psychology says that if a person is feeling any other emotions other than Happiness and Love then there’s a problem.  But this client that I was seeing he never felt Love/ Loved or Deep happiness.  May be he felt happiness, but he was so disassociated from the feeling.  I wanted to give him some task to make him to internally reflect on himself and how he felt and things like that; however I don’t see any commitment from his side.

This is just to give you an idea of how everyone functions. These representational systems don’t make a person a better or superior or anything; but it just tells us how they interpret the world, events and experiences.  And certain representational systems are good for excelling certain things in our life.

Eg: If you want to be really good with spelling, if a person uses Visual representational system for memorizing it is better and if a person uses Kinesthetic or Ad then it may not work well for them particularly with spelling.

And this is why NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programmers) don’t believe in ADD, we believe that they are using inappropriate representational systems only, so when we teach them the right way of using their representational system these ADD kids get better with their education.

From my perspective nothing wrong with this particular client that I saw few weeks ago, however he was avoiding those representational systems that he supposed to be using. Because of that, it was creating him trouble and/or that became his hurdle to reach his goal.

Client came for * Weight Loss * - Turned out to be * Sexually Abused *

Hi, I hope you enjoyed my last post and I promised you in my last post that I'll tell you about what happened to that sexually abused girl.

I saw this client in early 2009 while I was working in Preston, Victoria (Australia).

She came to me for * Weight Loss * at the start. Helen (made up name), came to see me for weight loss and she wanted to see herself thin, fit and stay healthy. She weighted 142kg and she had been over weight for all her life. She told me that she tried almost every diet out there and nothing seems to work for her and also she got gym membership as well, but she hardly goes there, because she says she just gets lazy and can't be bothered after getting back from work, however she tries to go to gym at least twice a week.

She came to me saying that I have to make her stop being lazy and get her to do more exercises and eat healthy.  She believed that she’s fat because she’s lazy and eat food all the time and she can’t stop eating or think about food; told me about her family history and how her mother is fat and her father is also very chubby therefore she also has this belief that she’s over-weight because it “runs in the family”.

First session was about preparing her and getting her ready subconsciously for the shift and change in her life and making her belief that it is possible for her to lose weight and stay healthy with lots of confidence.  I also had to work with her belief, that she thought her weight could be heredity. If she holds onto that belief, then it will become impossible to make any changes because she will have this program that it’s heredity so she cannot make any changes about it and she got to live with it for ever. If I don’t change that belief (program) that she has in her subconscious then there won’t be any use if I put in any new programs, because pretty much that heredity belief will over run any programs that I put in for her.  So it was necessary for me to change her belief with facts.

I told her “if you see identical twins, their genes are very identical at their early age; however according to their thinking, desires, life experiences, environment and other factors that they grow up can change their genes, so you are not stuck with your genes for ever. So identical twins genes when they were 6 year old and when they were 60 year old can be totally different. Therefore think about how you can change things as well if you are willing to change it and if you are serious about changing it”.  So she understood her heredity is not her destiny or the conclusion and therefore she is not stuck with it forever; and she can change it.

After our first session she said she never felt this much relaxed in her life before; when she came back to me for the second session she told me that for the first and second day she was very happy and doing things that she really wanted rather than letting her craving and laziness takes control of her and everything seems very positive and then she was back to her old routine and couldn’t help herself to motivate herself to do anything about her weight.

On our second session I was finding out how she chooses to stay overweight. It was very clear that she crave for ice cream and chocolates and cakes and also that she eats lots of fried food, and carbohydrate.  It was like a conflict, part of her says “no don’t eat” and the other part says “yes eat”. She struggles and then gives into those cravings and after she finishes eating she feels guilty about eating them. But after she was like 15 or something, she just turned num, as in “she avoided having any feeling about how she eats and how she looks” that is the words she used.  However she didn’t avoid having any emotions but she was feeding more to her cravings and strengthening it more and more each and every days.

She told me about how her childhood was and she was a chubby kid at school and everyone used to laugh at her but it didn’t really bothered her until she became a teenager and she wanted to look like all those hot models and actress and since then she tried all diets, but she couldn’t control her eating habit or behaviour. At about 15 she gave up even trying to staying thin; because she felt there’s no point in even trying.

We had few sessions and we couldn’t make much improvement. We have worked with her to stay motivated to do exercises and stay positive and confident etc.  However it was only lasting for few days and then she will get back to her old routine and when she came to me on her sixth session I thought we have done so much work with her, and there’s not much improvement, so I thought it is not just about eating.

All those people who work with subconscious/ unconscious mind knows that its job is to protect and preserve the body. I started asking myself, what was the purpose for Helen to eat too much and staying fat and protecting herself?, so we thought may be there’s something else that Helen might not be aware of consciously and when she went under hypnosis we took her to the root cause of her issue. 

What we found was really horrible and yet amazing as well, because that unleashed her from her habits and problems and she was free after that.  We found out that she was sexually abused when she was about 6 year old and it continued for a about a month and she was scared of that person who was abusing her and also; at that age she didn’t know what to do, she told herself if I was only “BIGGER” I can protect myself from him and he wouldn’t be hurting me this way.

We were able to let go of those emotions and reprogram her subconscious after finding out what happened to her.  When she was out of trance, she told me that she never knew it before that she was sexually abused and she couldn’t remember her childhood before 6 year old.  She thought that was normal not being able to remember. After that session we had one more session to integrate and reprogram and I told her she’s free from all her eating habit and those conflict that she had within herself.

After couple of months she called me and thanked me and said that she has been going to gym regularly and eating healthy and losing weight. In February, 2010 she came to see me and brought one of her friend with weight issue. Helen looked so amazing and she jokingly said to me "I don't have to be BIGGER to protect myself anymore to protect myself from anyone and I'm BIG enough now to protect myself and I'm an adult and guess what now I weights 62kgs".

It may sound surprising how that simple thought created that life for her, however our subconscious doesn't analyse anything it just takes in the information/ program and act accordingly. It is like programing a computer; or if you put 1+ 1 on a calculator it will only give 2 as the answer; likewise whatever the program is in your subconscious it will just control your emotions and behaviours.

If you are inspired and appreciate my work, please leave a comment.

Girl Who Felt Worth-Less...

I had a client that I saw about a month ago. I'll use a made up name to protect her privacy and I'll call her Jane. Jane came to see me for her depression/ anxiety issues. When she first saw me she couldn't look at me and talk and words wouldn't come out properly. She was only working part time in a supermarket and she was struggling to even go to work, because she was scared of people and to talk to them; however she just manages to go to work because she got to feed herself and pay for her bills.


She told me that she can't do well with what ever she does and even though she works hard, she always fails at the end; therefore she's starting to lose hope.  She was even avoiding her friends and every time her friends ask her to go out she was coming up with excuses and telling them that she's either busy or sick.


I think I won’t go into who she went and saw before she came to me, she pretty much tried the usual ways to get help, but nothing really helped her with her issues.


She said this was the last thing that she’s going to do and she lost all hopes if anybody could help her with her issues.


First day we started the session with taking her information and explaining to her what we were about to do after finding out her needs.  She said she has depression, after speaking to her I figured out it was more about self esteem issue. I could see that Jane's depression was connected to her self worth and self esteem. At the start we asked her what was happening in her life and when all these started.  She said she doesn’t know exactly what happened however her belief was that after she broke her leg in an accident when she was 9 year old, she started feeling like the way she’s feeling now.  And she also told me, from then onwards her school-grade dropped down to just barely passing the subjects in each and every terms. 


Even though she consciously knows little information about when all these started and/ or what happened, there’s no chance for her to know what’s in her subconscious mind and what her subconscious beliefs.


We started the session by relaxing her and getting her into deep trance.  What we found was amazing.


When she was under trance we were able to find out the root cause of the issue and deal with that; we found out that when she was a child, at about 9 year old, her grand mother passed away and she couldn’t be able to go and she had to stay with her aunt while her parents went to the funeral in Queensland.  When she was staying with her aunt, her aunt didn’t pay much attention to her and she was always telling her how bad her mother was and she’s going to become just like her mother and nobody’s going to like her and she’s only good for nothing etc and also told her that she’s also dump.  She was in tears when her aunt was telling her all these things.


After her parents returned back from the funeral she gone with her parents and she carried on with her life, however after a week she had an accident while she was playing at school and she broke her leg.  Since then she find herself not being able to do anything in her life, struggling to do almost any tasks.


After few sessions with Jane, we were able to reprogram her subconscious mind and let go of her old baggage and now she’s totally a new person and about a week ago she called and told me that she got a new full time job and also she’s applying to study nursing next year.  Something that she’s very passionate about.


Note: It doesn't mean every kid who experiences same sort of experience go through the same kind of life experiences.  We all are individuals and we take and interpret things differently according to our world and beliefs.  It is better to use encouraging, and positive words especially with kids, because at that young age they don’t have their analytical faculty developed very much so they absorb anything like a sponge and they will take it with them like a baggage without even their own knowledge.  Consciously people won’t know what caused them certain behaviour, some people say it is their personality; but in reality it is NOT. All of our memories, beliefs and moral and ‘who am I’ is programmed into our subconscious mind and when you are in your conscious mind it is almost impossible to find out what is inside our subconscious. One of the easiest ways to reprogram our subconscious mind is hypnosis. I also use NLP and Time Line Therapy to work with the subconscious and these are very powerful tools in working with people.




Next post will be about what happened to that Sexually Abused Girl….

* Time Line Therapy® *

You can see that this particular client goes back into her past life. It doesn't mean that past life exist or doesn't exist. That was not the point here, but on a subconscious level, when that emotion was dealt in that way according to what the subconscious want, it was ready to let go of that emotion.  Past life issue could be just simply a metaphore or some kind of fantasy thing that was created in a deeper level. We don't know. However, what we know is when we do this Time Line Therapy we were able to help the client to let go of their negative emotions and limiting beliefs.  We have been 100% successful with Time Line Therapy.

I have been doing Counselling, Clinical Hypnotherapy, NLP and Emotional Freedom Technique for last two years and I found that Time Line Therapy that I learnt in October 2010 is much more effective in releasing/ get rid of negative emotions such as Anger, Sadness, Fear, Hurt, Guilt, Depression, Anxiety, Phobia and other Limiting Behaviours and Beliefs (I can't earn money, I'm not worthy enough, I'm not good enough) and low self esteem etc.  It has been 100% effective and every client that I saw and/ or other therapist who uses Time Line Therapy saw had 100% success rate so far.

Time Line Therapy™ is a process that assists us:

- To let go of Negative Emotions from the past
- To let go of Limiting Decisions from the past
- Create our future the way we want it.

These are the three major techniques that comprise Time Line Therapy™—they are easy to do and make a significant change in a person's life.

 

The latest development in NLP, Time Line Therapy® techniques are a unique and unmatched method for creating powerful change in business, education, and therapy.


Time Line Therapy® utilizes a person’s own internal “Time Line” to work with their subconscious/ unconscious minds in a variety of ways; including, healing emotional traumas and eradicating unwanted thoughts, limiting beliefs, emotions and behaviors.


Time Line Therapy® is so highly regarded, in fact, that the Council of Psychotherapy in Croatia asked to be trained by “The James” in “Time Line Therapy” so they could help many of the victims of the war suffering from “post traumatic stress disorder”.


The specific collection of techniques called Time Line Therapy® produces long-lasting transformation very quickly and easily. The process is very fast. These powerful Time Line Therapy™ techniques are becoming the method of choice to make fast, effective, long-term changes in behavior.


People find much harder to change consciously. The Time Line Therapy™ techniques allow you to work at the subconscious/ unconscious level and release the effects of past negative experiences and change "inappropriate" programming in minutes rather than days, months or years.


Why Time Line Therapy®?
Time Line Therapy® allow you to gain emotional control over your life. Negative/Inappropriate emotional reactions, such as anger, hurt, depression, anxiety, sadness, fear, are responsible for preventing people from achieving the quality of life they desire.


Get rid of limiting decisions, such as "I'm not good enough," "I can't earn money". Now you can achieve your goals and outcomes using Time Line Therapy. Created by Dr. Tad James, Time Line Therapy™ techniques enable you to eliminate many types of issues in your past, thus allowing you to move forward toward your goals and desires.


An Example of What Time Line Therapy Can Do:

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